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Getting Over the Hump...

Posted 9/25/2019

Daily Positivity: Recognizing Even the Smallest Accomplishment 

 

As the autumn leaves begin to fall it is a reminder that the end of the year is approaching.  For me, this is significant because it puts me in the mindset of accomplishment. In other words, where do I stand with completing my 2019 goals?  As I begin to reflect on my summer goals, I realize that I had not accomplished all the things that I had desired. What did I do all summer? How did I get so distracted that I had not completed my goals?  Typically, this is where I begin to take “nosedive” into critiquing all the things that I did not do which often takes me down the spiral of shame, blame and self-frustration.

 

Now that I am aware of how “my mind plays tricks on me”, I am better able to change direction of my thoughts to focus on the positive rather than the negative. So instead of engaging in hours of chastising myself for not completing the items on my to-do list, I chose to reflect on all that I had done this summer. As I reviewed summer 2019, I began to experience a tremendous amount of joy, peace, motivation, encouragement and most of all accomplishment! Folks, summer 2019 owes me nothing! I had a number of exciting experiences like abruptly deciding to start my own practice, vacationing in Bermuda, witnessing one of my best friends celebrate her birthday "en Blanc”, moving one of my nephews back on campus at an HBCU while his younger brother begins his college life at a different HBCU and lastly ending the summer in Atlanta with partying at the House in the Park festival Labor Day weekend.

 

We are conditioned to immediately reflect on all the things that we have not completed rather than celebrating each positive experience on the way to goal achievement. Once we recognize how faulty thinking impacts our ability to consistently have joy, we should actively strive to challenge our thought process by shifting our focus towards the positive rather than the negative. This can be achieved by making a commitment to purposefully reflect on accomplished tasks daily, expressing gratitude for completed tasks and moving unfished tasks to the next day.  

 

This experience has taught me a valuable lesson. Focusing on the positive is energizing, increases my attention to detail and motivation to continue working on my goals. My biggest take away is that I must take time to reflect, express gratitude and celebrate each step towards the completion of my 2019 goals.

 

Until next week,

Dr. Kietra Winn, LCSW                               

 

#GettingOverTheHump #Taskmanagement #Goalachievement #Findyourpurpose #Findjoy #Findpeace

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Workplace Diaries: How to Recover from a Mistake

Posted 2/27/2019

When mistakes occur in the workplace you feel as if your career is over. Shame, doubt and anxiety begin to creep into your psyche and suddenly you become overwhelmed with fear and unsure of what to do next. When facing a mistake in the workplace the best course of action is to recover as soon as possible. Remember falling as a child while learning to ride your bicycle. Your parents would give you a “once over” to ensure no bones were broken, dust you off and say, “get up and try it again”. Much like getting back on that bicycle, the recovery period from a mistake at work should be immediate and planned carefully. The recovery plan will help you examine the situation and develop strategies to move forward with minimal damage to your career. Listed below are the 5 components of a recovery plan.

  1. Reflection- Take some time to think about the incident to identify the how, what and why did it happened. Were you negligent? What would you do differently? What did you learn from this incident?
  2. Take ownership- Taking ownership can be the first step in regaining the trust of the organization and your supervisor. It can also set a good example for your staff if you are a leader within your organization.
  3. Repair the mistake- After reflecting on what could have been done differently, work on implementing the strategy to repair the damage, if any.
  4. Moving forward-Create a list of strategies for moving forward in your career (e.g. initiate weekly one on ones with staff or supervisor, get to work earlier, take leadership or other training classes, etc.).
  5. Stop talking about the incident -After you have implemented your recovery plan (including meeting with your supervisor), do not have another conversation about the mistake as you are focused on forward movement. Continuing to revisit the mistake may derail your plan to move beyond the incident.

Always remember, it’s not about the mistake, but how you recover from it.

Until next week,

Dr. Kietra Winn, LCSW                                          

 

#gettingoverthehump #recoveryplan #bouncingback #tomorrowisanewday

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Your Purpose

Posted 2/13/2019

This is what it looks like when you are not operating in your purpose…

https://youtu.be/AlmXvilhUH4?t=17

This is a humorous depiction of how your gifts and talents show up in everything you do without forethought. Sometimes when you are working outside of your purpose the outcome can be disastrous leaving you drained and discouraged. Some clues that you are not operating in your purpose are:

  • Numerous mistakes on the job
  • A lack of inspiration
  • Often late to work or calling out sick
  • Low annual review scores
  • You are on probation and in danger of being terminated

Another sign that you are not operating in your purpose is that, on your job, whatever you do is never good enough. The most important step to finding your purpose is taking time to reflect on your strengths. Create a list that consist of what I call the 4 W’s:

What you do well

Play to your strengths. The things that you do well are usually natural gifts and talents that you possess.

What you would like to do without getting paid

These are the things that you would do without any payment or if there were no barriers. Most likely you are doing some form of this right now.

What comes easy to you

Your purpose is not a complicated and mysterious “super power” that you possess. Rather, it is relatively easy and most often an obvious skill that you use repeatedly. Here are some examples:

You have always been the designated “counselor” in your peer group

You are the person who is frequently called upon to plan an event

In every group, you are always the designated leader

What brings you joy. 

When you do things that bring you joy naturally bring you peace, high esteem, comfort, confidence and balance to your life. Though there may be stressful events associated with your purpose, it does not bother you because it brings you joy.

Now that you have some insight on how to find your purpose, spend some time journaling and reflecting on the 4 W’s to help you move from merely existing to living life to the fullest.

Until next week,

Dr. Kietra Winn, LCSW                                          

 

#GettingOverTheHump #Ihatemyjob #Findyourpurpose #Findjoy #Findpeace

Relax with a Coloring Book

Posted 2/6/2019

Yes, it is hump day and we are smack dab in the middle of the first Wednesday in February. Many resolutions of the new year are long broken, and the guilt of failure is starting to creep in.  With that comes a ton of anxiety and judgment that takes you down the “rabbit hole” of defeat.

No worries, Dr. Winn-Win is here to remind you that you do not have to wait until January 1, 2020 to start over. Always remember that every day is a new day to begin again. So, take another look at that list of broken resolutions, set new targets, revise your plan and get to it!

To get you out of this funk, The Winn-Win solution will be giving you strategies to help you “Get Over the Hump” and get back to living your best life. A tool that can be a stress reliever and induce relaxation is Adult Coloring. Much like coloring was a source of happiness for you as a child, Adult Coloring can help you to regain clarity of thought, focus and possibly reduce anxiety. Listed below are a few articles that review the benefits of Adult Coloring. Enjoy everyday to the fullest.  

Until next week,

Dr. Kietra Winn, LCSW                                          

 

#GettingOverTheHump #AdultColoring #Mindfulness #Relaxation

   

 

The Healing the Color Barrier

 

While taping my segment for the The Rebirth show with Shea Marriott, I had the pleasure of meeting a woman who courageously shared her story about her challenges with gaining acceptance from other women and girls when she was younger due to her complexion.  What Sarah brought to light is a bitter root in the lives of many women of color…the light skin/dark skin controversy. Based on our conversation I thought that this would be a good time to talk about an issue that is seldom discussed…and that is colorism or the color complex.

 

Oxford Dictionary defines colorism as prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group. What this definition fails to include is the negative treatment or backlash that women with a lighter skin tone women also experience. Many of us are all too familiar with the comments, ”you are cute for a dark skinned girl” or “you must be adopted or mixed because of your light skin”. Because of our history of darker skinned slaves who worked the fields and lighter skinned slaves who were raised in the “Big House”, (the house of their slave master who was also in most cases their father), African Americans have developed deep wounds that continue to be passed from generation to generation. The notion of not being dark enough to be black or light enough to be accepted by whites is a reality that many people continue to encounter, especially women.

 

I am reminded again about the issue of colorism by watching the video of this beautiful 10 year old girl who had been bullied because of her skin tone. It is so sad to think that in 2017, this issue continues to have an impact on African American girls. This in mind, I feel that it is necessary to intervene and interrupt any negative act or conversation where derogatory comments about skin tone are made. Just like we would challenge someone who makes negative comments about gender or race, the reaction should be the same relative to skin tone.

 

To break the cycle once and for all we need to start the conversation and continue the conversation until we began a wave of healing. It’s time for us to love and appreciate the array of beauty of all women of color, but the love and healing starts from within. We must learn to truly love and embrace the color of our skin without seeking validation from others. This in mind, I will be starting a study called the color of healing project. This project will feature stories of women who have experienced challenges due to their skin tone. If you would like to be a part of the color of healing project or know someone who would, send me a message @drwinnwin on Facebook, Twitter @DrKWinn or drkwinn1@winn-winsolution.net. #thecolorofhealing #Ilovemytone